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Subject: Re: Sorry guys, I'm superstitious, anyways it's amusing. Page Down. 
In-reply-to: Your message of Wed, 21 Oct 92 21:10:18 -0400.
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Well, since I'm not a believer in chain letters, and ESPECIALLY ones that
promise hot greasy monkey sex, here's a bit of a counter-proposition
for such situations...

Use it in good health.

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From:  (sparky: longing for sahuarita)
Subject: valentine to beat all valentines

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                           A VALENTINE

     The gentleman from whom you received this valentine finds you
stunningly attractive.  You occupy his thoughts during the idle
moments of his day.  You are his Aphrodite of inspiration.

     You are hereby requested to let him down in no uncertain
terms, as he, jaded by age, desperation and ill experiences, is in
severe need of a reality check.  Please detach the bottom portion
of this form, mark the appropriate blank(s), and return it to him
at the address below.

            Address: _____________________________
                     _____________________________
                     _____________________________

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                          (detach here)

     ___ Get lost.                 ___ You'd do better
                                       looking for a date
     ___ Go crawl back under           in a retirement
         the rock from whence          home.
         you came.
                                   ___ Meet me in the
     ___ You make me sick, you         parking lot later
         abhorrent cow-felching        so that I can watch
         geek.                         my boyfriend and his
                                       buddies pummel your
     ___ Let's do lunch so that        face.
         I, for lack of words,
         can demonstrate my        ___ Other, (specify):
         feelings by vomiting          ________________________
         on the table.                 ________________________